Alter Ego, Ad Absurdum
by call me milady
Summary: Or so she would like to think, seeing that her boyfriend switched personalities at the blink of an eye, slapping neuroscience right across the face.


**Alter Ego, Ad Absurdum**

**by **onetwosevennine

**starring **Hatsune Miku and Shion Kaito (VOCALOID). And, um, a bunch of other character cameos and song references. See if you can spot them all! C:

**pairing(s): **Kaito/Miku/Kaito's other personality, with slight Luka/Gakupo and Meiko/Kiyoteru.

**word count: **7,800 words, and my longest oneshot yet.

**author's note: **Because I need a break from all this studying that I'm doing (_oh, end-of-semester exams, how I loathe thee_), and the Voca-fandom needs moar decent AU!Miku/Kaito fics. Also, this is my first fic in this fandom and was written when I was absolutely neurotic and sleep-deprived, hence the cracky plot. Many thanks to Sherry-Doll for beta-ing for me, and _. _Yes.

Um, title means absolutely nothing, I'm afraid. Okay, not really. 'Alter ego' means other (alternative) self, and 'ad absurdum' means to the point of absurdity. Two different Latin phrases that I merged together, and is pretty much this fic in a nutshell.

**rating and warnings: **I give this a T for my sad attempts in writing (corny)comedy/(cheesy)romance_,_ and head-bash inducing scenarios. Literally.

...Oh, and language. That too.

**summary.** This was ridiculous. This was absurd. This most definitely can _not be happening_. Or so Miku would like to think, seeing that her boyfriend switched personalities at the blink of an eye, practically slapping neuroscience right across the face. Maybe at the bash of the skull would be the more appropriate phrase, and especially when one of him was sweet and awkward, and the other was such a goddamn sexy beast.

Wow, she was _so_ screwed.

**. . .**

It started out just like any other day, another ordinary day in Vocaloid Preparatory Academy.

The sign labeled 'Class 2-A' swayed gently in the breeze, rocking back and forth just like a pendulum of a grandfather's clock, accompanied by the chipper voice announcing that "This little number was requested by Kasane from 3-C."

The voice of the school's radio anchor was drowned out if one happened to bypass any of the classes, but in particular the aforementioned Class 2-A, in which its students were deeply engrossed in boisterous, eager chatter. Tales and gossips were exchanged above opened _bento_s and cans of soda, sounds of laughter were bouncing off the walls and one could practically touch and feel the warm yet lively atmosphere.

Occasionally something weird would break out – like an empty water bottle that would randomly be thrown amongst them and hit someone in the face or there would be a battle of epic proportions over the last bit of cheesecake someone decided to bring – but it was almost a daily occurrence during lunchtime of course, so one shouldn't be too surprised.

Especially if one's name was Hatsune Miku, who has been a student in 2-A for, like, _ever._

"Hey!" an energetic, high-pitched voice squealed. It belonged to Kagamine Rin, one of Miku's best friends, and the one that she loved the dearest – Rin was one year younger than the rest of the class, due to the fact that she had skipped a grade in elementary school, and so Rin was very much like a little sister to Miku. Rin was always bursting with excitement; people wondered how her petite body could possibly contain such vigor.

Though she was quite stubborn, snarky, and quick to anger, it was almost impossible to stay mad at her for long. It's true, no matter how many times her next-door neighbor Len – who may or may not be related to Rin, given the fact that they shared the same last name and looked a lot alike, what with their blond hair and odd addiction to blue contact lenses – might disagree.

Miku, however, appreciated some peace and quiet during mealtimes and did not quite welcome loud noises that startled her into dropping her favorite leek-and-fish filled rice ball, creating a mess on the floor and depriving the world of leek-flavored happiness.

"Oh, whoops. You might want to clean that up before the bell rings, Miku." Rin observed, oblivious. "But boy, have I got some news for you. Get this: I saw Sakine Meiko-senpai – you know, the girl who's," Rin lifted her hands to make some air-quotes. "'_secretly_' dating a teacher? Yeah, well, I saw her and Kiyoteru-sensei kissing beneath the cherry tree in the park yesterday! You know, that short but humungous one next to the bridge? Can you believe that?"

Miku's eyes widened and her hand flew to cover her mouth that immediately became unhinged. Screw the rice ball, this was _gold_. "Seriously? I thought that they just started going out about a week ago! I never pegged Kiyoteru-sensei to be a closet pervert."

"Eh, maybe Meiko was the one who, um, initiated it." Rin replied, picking up a piece of sausage from her _bento_ with her orange-printed chopsticks. "She's a good kid, but you did hear what she did that one time she downed a whole bottle of sake, right?"

"_Initiated_," Miku mimicked, though not in a spiteful manner. "Rin-Rin, you nerd. And yeah, I heard what happened. Man, did she get _wild._ Still, kissing a guy – and a teacher at that too – after only one week of dating, psh, I don't know if anybody could beat _that_ record."

"Heh, certainly not you, Miku."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't play dumb, now," Rin shook her head. "Have you ever been kissed by Kaito yet?" she elaborated, not even bothering to mask her glee. Miku looked like a tomato – a big, over-sized, luminescent mutant of a tomato with teal hair pulled into two pigtails and eyes as wide as dinner plates, dressed in a school uniform. Rin stifled the urge to laugh. It was always fun to make Miku look like a tomato.

"N-not yet…" Miku answered, embarrassed. Count on Rin to ask her questions like this.

The blonde girl clucked her tongue – Miku found this habit rather infuriating (along with the random yelling and scaring the crap out of people), because Rin was younger than her, after all. Yet she acted like a total know-it-all snarker, especially when it came to Kaito and herself.

"There we go, see? Wow, your dates must really suck or something," Rin said bluntly, adjusting her white hairpins to keep her bangs out of her face while she ate. "But you _are_ dating Bakaito, so, it's not like I expected anything else, really."

"Ah, Rin, that's mean," Miku pouted. Rin laughed out a lighthearted apology. "Well, we just don't want to rush things, you know. And unlike Hiyama-sensei the perv who likes to make-out with students underneath trees in public places, Kaito happens to be a _great _boyfriend."

And he was. Hatsune Miku's boyfriend was Shion Kaito (also referred to as 'Bakaito' or 'Dumbass-Kaito' by both Rin and Len), an upperclassman who was known throughout school because of his blue-tinted hair (Rin dared him to dye his hair blue a year ago, and it turned out that the color hadn't faded out quite yet.

Either that, or he secretly liked the attention it brought him.

His appearance and grades weren't bad – in fact, some people would say they were great. He was friends with Len, the aforementioned upperclassman Meiko (he was actually childhood friends with her and rumor has it that he once harbored a crush on her back in the day) Miku's friend Megurine Luka and her '_he's not my boyfriend!'_ Gakupo, and thus Kaito was someone who at least knew Miku's close (limited?) social circles.

Yet despite his grades and apparent popularity, Kaito was quite a goof, and his cluelessness used to infuriate Miku to no end – now though, she thinks it's adorable.

Also? He was one cowardly bitch.

Well, okay, maybe not a _bitch. _But he was certainly not the most assertive guy in the world.

Which is why Miku was the one who confessed. She did it last Christmas, in front of the huge-ass, ridiculously festive Christmas tree that was always set up in the town's park during the winter. Some said it was romantic while others said it was a little superficial, but Miku didn't really care.

Either way, her confession was at least memorable to them both and not an anti-climatic one, like Luka and Gakupo's – whose romance was started by simple_ 'Hey, be my girlfriend_.' '_Sure, why not_.' texts after two whole years of constant fucking _drama_ (that somehow involved heated arguments of Google versus Yahoo! Yeah, those two were beyond anyone's help,seriously.)

If you'd like to know a fun fact, Luka used to bear a really scary grudge against said Christmas tree; because that was the place her last boyfriend (before Gakupo) gave her a cute little promise ring of some sort right before breaking up with her two weeks later. So every time Luka passed the park, namely the resting site of the 'Evil Christmas Tree of All Horrors and Breaking Up Couples' (name courtesy of Kagamine Rin, all rights reserved), she shot it a look that was so cold it could probably stop global warming.

Okay, that may or may not be an extreme exaggeration of Luka's glaring skills.

Anyway.

Miku confessed to Kaito last Christmas, and ever since then their relationship has been smooth-sailing for about half a year. Nothing but clear skies, slow gentle winds, and calm waters.

Maybe a little bit too calm.

**_. . ._**

Miku liked holding hands with Kaito. His hands weren't crazy big or anything like that (though sometimes his sister Kaiko paints his nails with blue nail-polish, and he forgets to wipe them off and they make him look extremely gay), but they were still bigger than hers and it was nice to feel her palm fitting snugly in his loosely curled fingers.

Like now, for example. They were going home together after school – if you could call it that. Actually it was more like 'just-taking-a-romantic-walk-in-the-park-downtown-and-then-if-we-get-tired-and-also-coincidentally-nearing Miku's-house-we'll-part-our-separate-ways'.

Not that it was a problem in the slightest, of course – to Miku, anyway. She snuck a glance at her boyfriend walking beside her, wondering if he was feeling the same way.

"Oh, look, it's a swallow!" Kaito exclaimed, his eyes scanning the sky. Sure enough, there was one single black speck of a swallow soaring in the vast, eye-blinding blue and fluffy cumulus clouds.

"Hey Miku, did you know that swallows actually spend their whole life in the air? They even feed and clean themselves while flying too. Really, I read about it once. Don't you think that's pretty awesome?" Kaito ranted.

Yes, this was about as aggressive as Kaito can get. Except when his dates with Miku included a stop at the town's ice cream parlor (which was actually quite frequent) – then he was positively ecstatic.

Miku sighed. So much for a romantic walk in the park.

And then she saw the cherry tree. _The _cherry tree. Of all the things she could see in the park, her sight just happened to land on _that_. Each and every one of the cheesy, chick-flick romantic movies she had seen in her entire life started to resemble reality as Rin's voice echoed in her head.

"_Meiko-senpai and Kiyoteru-sensei__ beneath the cherry tree, the one beside the bridge, in the park..."_

Miku could hear the thumping of her heart in her ears and feel her face going hot. She lowered her head, hoping her hair would hide her cheeks (well, teal contrasted very harshly against pink so she wasn't sure how much it would help) and block that goddamned cherry tree from her view.

"Miku…"

She jerked her head back up at the sound of Kaito's tone. He was looking intensely at her, his eyes wide and unblinking as if absorbing in all of her appearance, including her face – which was undoubtedly a very unflattering shade of pink at the moment. His mouth was opened slightly though no words came out, and he looked positively astonished – stricken, even. Miku was pretty sure her own expression mimicked that of her suddenly silent boyfriend.

"_Meiko-senpai and Kiyoteru-sensei beneath the cherry tree in the park..."_

And there was Rin's voice again.

_Oh my God… Is he…going to–?_

"Miku, Miku, look!" Kaito practically yelled in her face, shaking his hand free from hers. "The flow of this brook is going backwards! Must be because there it's meeting the sea over there by the bay… this is called an estuary, isn't it? This is the first time I've ever seen this! Isn't it great, Miku?"

…_What._

"Kaito!" Miku exclaimed, balling her fists. He was turning back into the stupid, clueless idiot _Bakaito_ who couldn't take a hint and wouldn't recognize a subtle confession even if it bit him on the nose.

Although the way he said "Eh?" ever-so-innocently (or stupidly) made Miku's blazing irritation die down just a little bit.

"Honestly, Kaito," she said. "It won't kill you to be just a little less indifferent, you know. This is why you don't have any other girls chasing after you, when you're so unbelievably cute."

Kaito blinked (stupidly) and proceeded to look away while scratching the back of his neck. "I-I don't care." he stuttered. "I can't really stand girls to begin with…"

…_What._

"So why did you agree to go out with me, then?" Miku almost shouted (but she still had enough dignity to not throw a tantrum in a public place. Or start bitch-slapping her boyfriend.)

"Well… that's…" Now he looked positively stupefied. And made the aforementioned deeds, which were stopped short by her thinning amount of pride and honor (wow, she was starting to sound like Gakupo the samurai freak), very hard to resist.

"Was it because I was the one who asked? You just said yes because you couldn't find the heart to reject me, is that it?"

"Uh, Miku… I…"

"I like your kindheartedness and the fact that you're a very considerate guy, Kaito-_senpai_," Miku went on. She never called Kaito _senpai_. Nobody ever called him _senpai_, at least not in his close circle of friends. If they did_,_ it was either with sarcasm (this was frequently done by Rin and/or Len) or to accentuate that Kaito was merely older – and thus was equivalent to an elderly, can't-do-nuthin'-by-himself senior citizen.

Either way, whenever someone called Kaito s_enpai_, it didn't mean well.

In this case, it underlined the severity if the situation at hand, needing an answer (better be a damn good one too) from him _pronto_.

"…But I have to say you're really making me worry, if… if it's just me being too pushy about everything. If you really like me back, then…"

There was a brief moment of hesitation, and Kaito desperately wanted to die when a pair of small hands latched onto his the sleeve of his uniform and pulled him so that he looked straight into a pair of determined sea green eyes.

"…Then kiss me."

…_Well, shit._

**_. . ._**

It wasn't that Kaito secretly hated Miku, it was actually rather on the contrary. But when a girl (a very, very cute one at that) demands you, a socially awkward, frequently referred to as a dummy, blue-haired nerd-ass, to kiss her, well, it was very hard not to. Hate her, that is – he wasn't _that_ horny.

Said girl had already squeezed her eyes shut, her lips puckered ever-so-slightly, anticipating the kiss, while Kaito's own eyes were as wide as–

"Waaah! My balloon! It's flying away!"

"…I'll get it!"

"Wh– Kaito!"

"It'll only take a second, Miku!"

The twin-tailed girl relented, and let her boyfriend climb up the damned cherry tree (that started all this mess) to help a raven-haired little girl in an apple-red dress retrieve her apple-red balloon. Not wanting to look directly at the whole sad, sad scene that was currently unfolding, Miku settled for watching Kaito's reflection in the clear brook he had been so enthusiastic about earlier.

_Ah, the balloon__ slipped out of his hand…_

_Stupid Kaito, _Miku thought. _He never acts like a proper boyfriend – more like an older brother than anything else. And I never even heard him say that he loves me. Not even on the phone, or through texts. And I thought that with his gentle nature it would be the last thing I would worry about!_

Miku sighed. _Geez, you think you know a guy._

_Does Kaito really like me? Or is he just going out with me because he can't say no?_

_If you really like me, then show it!_

_Aah, Kaito!_

"Whoa–"

"Aah, Kaito!"

And then there was a very loud thud.

Just like him to slip and fall from a big, fat, barely-seven-feet-tall tree (with a dozen branches that you could actually _hold onto_ for support, hello?). Yet Miku still came running and hovered above her boyfriend's limp, sprawled figure. She wrung her hands, pushed the hair out of his forehead, considered calling 119 but settled for lightly smacking him on the cheeks in effort to make him regain his consciousness.

"Kaito! Kaito, are you okay?"

The next thing she knew, Kaito had shaken his potential-head-injuries off, stood up, taken a foothold on the tree's bark and leapt. He grunted a bit at the effort and surprisingly, managed to catch the little kid's flying balloon in one grab, before landing firmly and soundly on all fours – well, threes. His right hand was still holding the balloon, after all.

Miku did the only logical thing one was prone to do in such a situation.

She gawked.

"Here," Kaito bended over as he handed it to the little girl. "Don't let it fly away again, alright?"

"Thank you!" the girl replied, sounding infinitely happy.

_Wh–__ How did he do that?_

Kaito caught Miku's wide-eyed stare, and she flinched involuntarily. She also found it hard to close her mouth, not even when he took a few steps closer and after noting to herself how unattractive her expression must have looked, especially in such close proximity.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Kaito asked. He reached out his hand and his knuckles softly grazed Miku's cheek, causing her to freeze (not that she was flailing about in the beginning, but you get the idea). He let out a little laugh. "Captivated by my stunning good looks, are we?"

_No, just your sudden weirdness._

"Miku…" Kaito leaned forward, and his voice sounded like it was an octave lower than usual. It sounded smoother and sultrier and – dare she say it – _sexier, _shutting down her nervous system and making her feel like she was melting. "You know that I love you, right?"

_Holy crap._

Sea-green eyes immediately widened in alarm. Miku snuck a peek at her surroundings and though she didn't have anything against kissing such a (currently) effin' sexy beast of a boyfriend, she couldn't miss the little Balloon Girl gaping at the sight of them.

Sure, maybe she was dubbed "The Most Trampy" in her close circle of friends (namely, by Rin), but Hatsune Miku drew the line at corrupting the sight and mind of innocent children.

Or maybe she was just awkward and groggy and really embarrassed.

"Wait a minute, I'm not ready!" Miku shouted as she blindly clamped her hand over Kaito mouth and pushed him away, unconscious that her piercing voice had gained even more stares in their general direction. Thank God they were half hidden by the bridge – _no wonder Hiyama-sensei and Meiko decided to dub this place as a make-out spot,_ Miku inwardly sighed as soon as she noticed her mistake._ Down here you're practically invisible._

And then there was another loud thud as Kaito's head collided with the side of the bridge.

"Hyaaa! Kaito, I'm so sorry!"

Hatsune Miku: officially the worst girlfriend to ever grace the face of the Earth, also a violent maniac and the bringer of concussions upon perfectly good boyfriends.

"Ow…" Kaito cradled his head and rubbed the place that absorbed the most impact (Miku hoped he wouldn't end up blind or paralyzed or struck with Asperger's syndrome tomorrow). He smiled weakly – unconvincingly. "Its okay, Miku, I'm fine… Hey, I didn't do anything funny, did I?"

"Huh?"

_That's odd, he's back to being himself again._

"Oh, hey, you managed to get your balloon back? That's great!"

_What just happened to him?_

"But mister, you were the one who caught it for me, remember?"

_Well, it was a little too startling, so I pushed him without second thought. __Not that I don't feel bad about that or anything…_

"I did?"

_But maybe it's would be a little nicer if Kaito was like that all the time._

**_. . ._**

"Miku, someone's here! He says he's your friend!"

Miku looked up lazily from her breakfast, still munching on a piece of her leek omelet. The doorbell just rang a few minutes ago and Miku's mother had ran to greet (or probably tell off) their earliest guest yet.

"Who is it, Mom?"

"I'm sorry, what's your name, dear?" her mother lowered her voice. Miku had to laugh at that. Despite her mother's frequent scolding and sassiness (_"Miku, you better pray that's gonna come out of the carpet." "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to slap the caps off your knees." "Stop acting like your father!"_), didn't she at least know to ask the name of her daughter's 'friend' who came around to their house at friggin' six in the morning_, _before letting her daughter wander around with him and with no one to vouch for her whereabouts? Seriously.

"Oh! It's Kaito, honey!"

_Oh, it's just Kaito – wait, what?_

Kaito never came around to pick Miku up from her house and to go to school together. It's not that they kept their relationship in the dark – in fact her father often teased her and commented on Kaito's various weaknesses (which Miku didn't even bother to defend or deny). Sure, her family knew him and his family knew her, and sometimes when they're both low on money they'd settle upon watching horror movies at Kaito's house or enjoying the food made by Miku's mother. But still, Kaito never went with Miku to school, _ever._

So this was new.

And why was it that her mother wasn't able to recognize _Kaito_? Hello, the guy that (Miku hoped) was supposed to be her future son-in-law?

Miku's question was answered as soon as she got to the door.

"Kaito… why is – I mean – your hair…"

"Ah, this?" he touched his newly red-tinted hair. Granted, it didn't show very much, he was still recognizable and at a first glance it wouldn't seem like he did anything outrageous. But Miku's eyes (and her mother's, apparently) were trained enough to spot even just the smallest changes of her boyfriend (like the change of contact lens color, or that teensy stain of ice cream on his uniform shirt) and thus to her, his hair now stood out like a sore thumb. Literally.

And Kaito didn't even _like _the color red.

"Couldn't pull the wool over your eyes, huh?" he grinned mischievously – uncharacteristically. "I actually thought it wouldn't show up as much. Don't worry, it's not permanent. It'll wash off."

"But…" Miku replied, brushing her fingers lightly through his hair. "…Wait a second, why are there three bumps on your head?"

"Oh, haha, yeah. The first two were because of yesterday," Miku's face flushed guiltily, but Kaito obliviously continued. "And I fell off my bed and hit my head this morning, so…"

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Normally, Miku would tell him off or, back in the time they weren't dating (and she was still quite the _tsundere_), be satisfied with a simple 'you dumbass, who even _does _that?' But now she was seriously concerned. Three bumps in less than 48 hours didn't sound very good (understatement, please).

But before she even knew it, Kaito had enveloped her in a tight hug, his hand ruffling her hair slightly.

"Aw, you worry too much, babe."

From his voice she could tell he was smirking, and she blushed at the way it vibrated across his body and straight into her ears. She could smell the faint scent of soap that radiated from his neck, the coffee he must've drank for breakfast as well as the oddly hypnotizing chemical scent of hair dye. Miku was aware that the smell of that substance was probably pretty dangerous, but idea of dying in her boyfriend's arms after inhaling his scent didn't seem too bad at the moment.

Also, after he called her _babe_? She would die a happy, happy, deliriously happy woman.

Though it would maybe be a problem what with the Math test that was coming up the next Thursday.

**_. . ._**

Miku and Kaito shared the same gym period though they were in different classes. Normal couples would probably use this blessed opportunity to hang onto each other like leeches, steal kisses whenever no one was looking, or at least strike up a conversation that involved a very heavy dose of shameless flirting, but not Miku and Kaito.

Since they weren't really ones for public displays of affection (given the established fact that Kaito wasn't exactly what you would call aggressive), a small 'Hello,' normally would've sufficed, and then Miku would go play volleyball with her classmates while Kaito would struggle not to get kicked in the face during his class's game of soccer.

Today, though, he wasn't struggling in the slightest. In fact, he just managed to steal the ball and within less than three seconds he was already headed towards the net, moving as fast as a professional athlete, leaving a trail of his flailing classmates chasing him futilely while others shot comments from the sidelines.

"Holy shit, _that's_ Kaito? What the hell _happened_ to him?"

"Hey, did he dye his hair? Again?"

"Way to go, man! You're awesome!" This, Miku recognized, was the voice of Gakupo, probably grateful for the fact that his best friend wasn't much of an embarrassment anymore.

"I love you, Kaito!" some girl screeched. Miku promptly felt like she got hit in the head with the ball – oh, she actually did. _Ow, Gumi, watch where you throw that thing._

Kaito apparently heard the last comment as well. He caught sight of the horde of girls (both from his class and Miku's) who decided to gather together and cheer him on. Kaito flashed them a smile that was so dazzling and full of self-confidence the girls couldn't help but squeal in joy.

Miku wanted to seethe, but she figured she was much too mature and sophisticated for that sort of childish jealousy. Wasn't she?

"Okay, what on earth did you do to Kaito, Miku?" Rin said as she walked up to the red-faced Miku, patting her on the back. "Seems like he changed. A lot. Over the night. It's like he's a different person, and you better believe it's downright creepy."

"Really?" Miku asked, playing dumb. Rin (and everybody else) had a point; something definitely had changed with Kaito, something other than his godawful hair color – Miku suspected it had something to do with the amount damage his head had taken recently, and she worried briefly.

But as she remembered what happened yesterday, she figured that as long as he was in decent condition (if his sudden athletic prowess was anything to go by) and as long as she would potentially get a kiss, this kind of Kaito was _definitely_ not a problem.

…Wow, Rin was right, she _was_ sort of trampy.

Gym ended quicker than Miku would've preferred – because though the herds of new fangirls made watching her boyfriend a little on the loud side, she did like seeing Kaito good at something for once (that wasn't related to Classical Japanese or Trigonometry) Thankfully, now that it had ended, she could spend just a minute alone with him walking through the hallway on the way to their own respective classes without shrieks of 'Kaito, you're so cool~!' blaring in her ears. She wanted to at least compliment him on his game before hurrying off to class.

"Kaito, I gotta say, on the field just now, you were–"

"Hey, Kaito!"

_What the__–_

And suddenly the Rabid Fangirl Flocks of Doom were back and gushing all over him. Him, Kaito. Her_ boyfriend. _Who was already _taken_. Obvious statement is obvious (and redundant). But not to these girls, apparently.

"Would you read my letter? Here, please accept it!" A letter sealed with a pink heart sticker was immediately shoved into Kaito's hands. Miku wondered how someone managed to write a whole love letter in the span of fifteen minutes. _And_ expect it to be received.

"Mine too!" Another fifteen-minute love letter.

"I have one too! Read mine!" And another one.

"No fair, I was here first!" And yet another one.

Okay, she had had quite enough. What, did these people just buy an instant packet of it and added water or something?

"Hey!" Miku exclaimed. "You know that Kaito is–"

"Who are you?" one of the girls snidely asked as she positively _leered_ at Miku, who couldn't help but shudder.

"Is she Shion's girlfriend or something?"

"His girlfriend? Seriously?"

Kaito managed to pry himself away from pack of girls and quickly put an arm around Miku's shoulders as she was contemplating unleashing a barrage of colorful language that would undoubtedly earn her detention.

"Uh, sorry, girls. You're all so very thoughtful and kind and I appreciate it, but she _is _my girlfriend." He winked, and suddenly the number of the girls had increased exponentially.

"That's okay! Even if you're taken, it's fine!"

"Here, I have some cookies I brought from home. I made it myself! Please accept these!"

"I have some lemon pie!"

Kaito laughed with embarrassment. "Um, okay… Thank you," he said, accepting the gifts he had been showered with – somebody even gave him an empty candy wrapper, for Pete's sake. "If that's what you all want…" he added a little uncertainly.

_He accepted _all_ of them?_

Miku couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

Just a little.

**_. . ._**

Later, when Miku arrived in class (late, but luckily she managed to bargain her way out of holding water buckets outside of the class), Rin had advised her to eat lunch with Kaito for the day, after Miku had confessed to what had been keeping her. At first, Rin had looked at her incredulously and laughed obnoxiously in her face (and then was also threatened into holding water buckets outside of the class), but she sobered up after a few seconds of Miku's 'this-is-srs-bsnss' frown, which, in turn, Miku had learned from Luka.

"Miku, I'm fine eating lunch by myself, seriously – maybe with Len, or something. It's better if you eat with Kaito today. You don't want to be beaten to it, do you?" Rin had asked.

Miku had answered no, and that was the reason why she found herself currently running at full speed over to Kaito's class, clutching her _bento _closely to her chest. Much like them going to school together, Miku and Kaito seldom ate lunch together – they both agreed on this to spare them the teasing of their nosy classmates and the disapproval of the school faculty (though why the school faculty would want to stick their noses in their student's business was absolutely beyond them). It didn't help that because Kaito was a senior, his lunch time was often cut short to make room for college prep tests and assignments. Miku just hoped that it wouldn't happen today.

Ignoring the catcalls and teasing remarks of her boyfriend's classmates as she entered his classroom, she said, "Kaito, want to eat lunch with me?"

Unfortunately, her invitation had been drowned out by a very, very loud chorus of "Kaito, let's eat lunch together!"

Great, _another_ group of girls (who looked like they were upperclassmen) had apparently already beaten her to it. Kaito hadn't even responded, and they already sat down and made themselves comfortable, occasionally complimenting him on his new hair.

"Ah, Miku!" Kaito waved when he spotted her. "Come over here and eat with us!"

Miku didn't know what was it that he said, that made her veins throb violently and her blood boil, but she knew one thing: _that was _it_. _With a low growl, she grabbed his shirt and said, in a very intimidating voice, "Kaito, come with me for a second."

"But–"

"_Please._"

"O-okay."

Her irritation went away (somewhat) when she saw that he obediently followed her up the stairs and towards the school's roof, where she stopped and finally began to speak.

"Just what is wrong with you, Kaito?" Miku asked angrily, not bothering to turn around. She knew the question really should've been directed at her, considering the circumstances, but damn it, she was really pissed off and logic could go screw itself. "You never acted like this before."

"Eh?"

"It's just like you're another person," she continued, borrowing Rin's words. Then she turned to face him. "…It's like you aren't Kaito."

There was a moment of hesitation, a tense silence that was just like a cliffhanger ripped off from a B-rated movie, before Kaito finally answered, "…Well, I'm not."

"…Come again?"

"I am not Kaito," he said, looking at Miku straight in the eyes. Miku felt the urge to hit him square in the face – Rin was right, this _was_ downright creepy. "I'm Akaito."

…_What_?

"Kaito's just so weak and pathetic; I just _had_ to come out and become the more dominant side of him," he shrugged. "You could say it's sort of like a double personality, I guess."

Miku decided to voice her latest thought out loud.

"I mean, he's just so scrawny and stupid and such a _pushover_." 'Kaito' continued, paying no attention to the look Miku shot him. "So I made us switch. But surely you don't mind, do you, Miku? I mean, I'm everything you wanted in Kaito, aren't I?"

She blinked, dumbfounded.

"I'm good at sports, confident, sociable, the perfect boyfriend practically _worshipped_ by the girls at school. And if you want a kiss from me, I'll be sure to make it the best thing that you would ever feel in your entire life. Surely you wouldn't mind _that_, would you?"

His fingers curled around Miku's shoulder, and he leaned down until she could feel the smile in his voice and his breath tickling her ears, and _damn_, she could feel that 'would you?' down to her toes.

"…Are you kidding me?"

And with that, she stomped her foot hard against his, yelled out a 'Screw you' for good measure, and ran.

**_. . ._**

The park.

Why did it have to be the park?

And on the bridge too, next to the stupid, stupid cherry tree that Miku was now convinced was determined to pop up everywhere and stalk her ass until she ran screaming from the town.

Miku realized she was technically truanting, but honestly, it wasn't like she planned it, it just _happened_, she just let her legs carry her wherever they pleased while she was too busy convincing herself not to cry.

_So why did you go out with me, Kaito?_

_I don't want you to become a 'proper, perfect boyfriend'. Nor do I want any kisses. I just__– _

_I just __want you to tell me how you actually feel about me._

Miku reached into her bag (she didn't even realize she brought it withher in the first place) to get her cellphone and text Rin and ask her to tell the teacher that she decided to go home for the day, when her fingertips brushed something else – a picture photo-sticker of her and Kaito, taken on their first date.

They had taken it in the small picture booth over at the town mall. In one picture, Kaito's smile was awkward and yet happy at the same time, and Miku looked like she was practically laughing her ass off. Another shot had Miku pretending to be dead – complete with an arrow through her head and blood-like effects while Kaito watched with a cute little sweatdrop effect painted upon his head. The last few shots were the ones with her hands draped across his neck and wearing the smuggest look she could muster (like a princess, she had said) and the very last shot was him laughing _("Yeah, you're the number one princess in the world,"_). It was all so goofy and stupid and awkward and yet also a bit romantic.

Just like them.

_Stupid Kaito,_ Miku thought as she felt a few tears spill from her eyes. _Turns out I really do love you._

"Miku!"

"Kaito?

Suddenly a great gust of wind blew and the picture flew out of Miku's fingers, and she watched in horror as the glossy strip floated away to meet the flowing brook. She broke out in a run.

"Miku! Where do you think you're going?" Kaito said again, this time louder, as he grabbed her arm. "What, are you going to dive in the brook to get that picture?"

"Let go of me!" Miku struggled to break free from Kaito's surprisingly strong grasp.

"Come on, don't act rashly, Miku," he said, keeping his hold. "It's just a silly picture; we could take more of those any day."

_Oh, that was it._

Kaito's words were followed by complete, utter silence.

That is, it was until Miku slowly spoke_._

"How pathetic," she began faintly, keeping her eyes on the bridge's brick road. "And you call yourself the 'perfect boyfriend'."

"Huh?"

"That 'silly picture' was taken during my first date with Kaito, you jerk. It's my practically my treasure, and that's all you can say?"

"But I'm speaking on behalf of Kaito too, and it's also for you–"

"For me?" Miku asked incredulously, snatching her hand away. "I hate you! You're not a perfect boyfriend, you're a complete asshole!"

"Miku–"

"The one I like," she shouted, clenching her trembling fists at her side. "Is the awkward, bumbling Kaito, not _you_!"

Kaito barely had time to respond before Miku shouted a "Geddoff!" and delivered a solid punch to his forehead, sending him stumbling to the other side of the bridge where his head knocked unceremoniously against the brick wall.

"Ow!"

Miku, at the moment, couldn't care less about whether or not her boyfriend would suffer serious head injuries that could possibly lead to hospitalization, and she hastily made her way down the bridge. She was careful to keep her eyes on the glossy print, before coming to a halt at the edge of the brook, where the picture gently landed very conveniently right in the middle of the water.

"Oh, great…" Miku sighed sarcastically, catching her breath. Was she supposed to dive in there in order to get it? And the water looked pretty deep too…

"We can still get it!"

_Splash!_

"Whoa, it's a lot deeper than I thought it would be!"

"Kaito!"

Miku watched as he paddled his way to the floating picture, leaving behind a trail of red hair-dye in his wake, and his head slowly becoming the familiar shade of cobalt again.

_Which one is he?_

Finally, Kaito grabbed the grasses at edge of the brook where Miku knelt, panting and shaking the excess water out from his hair.

"Ah, sorry, it seems it was too late," he said as he handed her the soggy strip. Miku kept silent.

_Which one is he?_

Finally, Kaito smiled.

The awkward, embarrassed, kindhearted and happy smile. The one that looked as if it held no self-confidence and yet seemed to say that 'I can't really understand your strange antics, but that's what I like about you'. The smile Miku fell in love with.

She felt the tears coming back.

"Gah, Miku?" Kaito exclaimed, a little shocked at hearing her sniffles. He proceeded to climb out of the water and – momentarily forgetting that he was soaking wet, the grass was slippery, and he hadn't even gained a proper foothold yet – slipped and fell flat on his face. Miku let out a yelp.

"Yah!"

"Oww…" he whimpered as he nursed his forehead.

"Kaito, are you okay? You should be more careful!"

Miku helped Kaito get out of the water, muttering along the lines of 'My God, don't scare me like that,' or 'friggin' gave me a heart attack,' or 'You _are_ Kaito, right?' (to which he responded with an oh-so-intelligent 'Huh?')

_He's back to his old self… Thank _God…

"Um, Miku…" Kaito began as soon as he was fished out of the water and safely on land.

"Yes?"

"Uh," Kaito scratched the back of his neck and studied the ground. _What is the best way to phrase this? _"Before now, I was embarrassed and couldn't b-bring myself to say this… But I guess you really have to say it with words, so…"

"Kaito, what are you–"

"…Miku, I love you."

All the blood rocketed to Miku's face and her heart pounded so hard against her chest and her knees felt like jelly and she was somewhat irked (and strangely pleased at the same time) to know that cheesy romantic-comedy movies held at least some truth in life, and that dating wasn't really as bland as Luka made her believe.

Kaito laughed, clearly embarrassed (_and cute_, a small portion of Miku's brain begged to point out). "I know this is going to sound weird, but, um, Miku…"

"Yes?" she was surprised to see she still possessed the ability to speak.

"May I… kiss you?"

Sure, maybe it was a _little_ anti-climatic, but Miku's response came as no question. And it sure didn't hurt that the cherry blossoms that fell from the tree beside the bridge in the park made such a lovely atmosphere to compensate for that.

**_. . .  
_**


End file.
